Why You Should Come See The Winter's Tale

WHY WOULD YOU NOT WANT TO SEE A BEAR-BAITING!? Seriously, I am 90% sure that there is a 60% chance of there being a bear baiting in this play.

If that doesn’t convince you to come see this play nothing will, but I will go on. There is going to be 4 pounds of prunes! Are you excited? I know I’m excited! 3 pounds for me and the rest of you can share the last pound….Or like one prune.

Furthermore, I constantly best the local peddlers. I sure do make fools out of them.

Plus, you get to watch me woo TWO women! I know you are jealous and should be.

There is dancing a plenty too! The satyrs I hear put on quite the show, but I always miss them every year. One day I’ll get to see that phenomenon that is satyr dancing.

AH! I almost forgot, there is a bear in the play! A FREAKIN’ BEAR! Bears, prunes, satyr dancing. Oh, and there are all of these royal people with problems. They’re fun to watch too. I mean I know that guilt, jealously, and paranoia may seem to have more aesthetic value than bears, prunes, and satyr dancing, but I will beg to differ, except that I won’t beg, because I’m rich and rich people don’t beg, unless they want something from another rich person in which case they would beg, so yes I will beg you to come see the show!

Seriously though, this show is like a storm, and I would you did but see how it chafes, how it rages, how it takes up the shore, but that is not the point, the point is that you should come see The Winter’s Tale, I promise if you do that you’ll be a tall fellow of thy hands!